Thanks Kelsey for being vulnerable and sharing some of your inner dialogue. As someone whose inner critic is always saying do more and I’m not enough this was refreshing, and a beacon of hope. I underlined so many nuggets (outsourcing yourself as a way to feel valuable , saying no, not going the extra mile as a way to ensure worthiness - big one for me!) and shared this with a friend. Your life is such a testament to what it means to be human!
Same same same same same. I have felt and continue to feel ALL of these things. It's amazing how much of my "justice work" is driven by a need for the world to affirm my value and goodness. I feel like the greatest gift the publication process has given me is the opportunity to face and slowly begin to relinquish my grip on these attachments (that have been low key killing me all along). It's such a grueling, soul-baring process. I honestly don't know of a better process through which to do this crucial "decolonizing the identity" work. One of my mentors/BFFs is an 82 year old mystic who has published a gazillion books -- and only one has been a paradigm-shifting bestseller. He says publishing is "purifying" -- not in the white supremacist urge to be pure, but in the "return me to my true self" sense. I love that and I grab onto this embodied wisdom when the inner critic chorus is loud.
Christena, your words continue and continue and continue to be a balm. You were the first to see a draft (outside my publisher) and I still remember your kind feedback that was quite foreshadowing. You said, (I paraphrase) you have written a beautiful book and regardless of how the publicity process goes know this offering is a gift. I've come back to that over and over again. Thank you for standing alongside me in the complexity of longing for affirmation from the very systems/people we're trying to transform. Deep breath. The words of your mentor are giving me chills. That exactly it.
I felt every single word of this beautiful post. Thank you thank you thank you. I know it’s weird to post our own work in the comments but this piece I wrote about publishing post partum depression may offer some solace. Sending lots of hugs your way 🫶🏽
Oh my goodness! I'm ready this now. This is exactly my experience. I never thought to consider it post partum. Thank you for your researching and sharing your story. Following. xo
Kelsey! Wow, your words are my current thoughts and feelings after just days after sending my first book to be published. The inner critic within me has been feeling crushed, the thought of promoting the book just doesn't feel authentic right now. I have ideas but to excute seems so BIG. I believe this post encrypts a message for me as a new author. Wow, wow, wow! Talk about a true reflection! I'm at a lost for words.
Hi Jacquie! Thanks for popping over. First, CONGRATULATIONS on writing a book and sending it to the printer. That's a huge achievement. Since writing my book I've discovered there's something called author postpartum. It's a real thing and I'd wished I'd known about it when I was struggling with low energy after the publication of my book. I hope this post inspires you to take the time you need and "market" your book in a way that feels aligned for you -- even if that's trusting the universe to take the wheel. You are not alone.
Thank you so much, Kelsey! I have been feeling the highs and lows. Yesterday, I got the email stating the book is officially published, and the rollercoaster of emotions put me in a mood. I thought about your words, decided to celebrate myself, and gave myself grace. This morning, I woke up with a new mindset and was able to get back in a flow. Thank you so much!
Oh wow thank you! I’m actually offering the Kindle edition free until Sunday. I wanted the people that preordered it have a Kindle version and I wanted to share it with my Substack family if no one wanted the author-signed copies. I will send you the link for the Kindle download!!! 🫶🏾
So loving learning about the way your book changed you. I know that feeling of the magic of creating a written work, when you co-create with the universe and everything around you offers itself to the project. 🔮I haven’t tried to publish a book but my sister did, and I witnessed some similar struggles. Thank you for sharing this deeply vulnerable window into your journey. So grateful to be here!
I love the phrase: co-create with the universe. That's exactly what it felt like. I'd love to see your written work, if you're ever inclined to share. I'm so happy to have you here.
With you in the unraveling!! Thank you Kelsey for being fiercely vulnerable and honest! You putting out your book and then walking away from the “expected” ways of promoting it in our capitalist society, is making me think your book was an offering to the world and you’ve done your part. Period, full stop. I’m curious how many people, like myself, buy it for friend and keep talking about it? You go do your healing-your powerful work is resonating-not like how you expected maybe-but exactly how it should be. You’re a gift to the world Kelsey.
Geez Michele, this gave me chills. Period, full stop. You. Are. Right. I did it. Thank you for this seeing. I appreciate you. I really couldn't hold the process with anything but regret until you named my enoughness. It's fascinating.
Kelsey- thank you for being honest about your experience in publishing. Thank you for your authenticity.
This space is healing to sit in, as a recovering people pleaser.
Your book may not have had the initial BOOM, but it will be in the world forever, nobody can take that accomplishment away! …and you never know who’s hands it will fall in when they most need it.
We love & appreciate you! ✨(but don’t let this external validation take away from that self love you’ve cultivated) 🤍
Thank you for this! I receive it in the best way. On another note, did you happen to see the SNL People Pleaser's Recovery Group Sketch last week? It worth checking out. It gave me a good chuckle as a fellow pleasure myself. I'm happy to have you here.
I checked out the audio version of your book from my local library last week. I was so engulfed by the message that I wanted to see and read the words, that I bought the ebook on Monday. I am ready to De-colonize. Thank you for the gift this book! Thank you for sharing your vulnerability.
Thank you Tamara! Your words remind me that my book is on its own journey traveling to new places and reaching people in ways I may never know about. It's nice to get a peak of what it's up to. Thank you for being here.
Thanks Kelsey for being vulnerable and sharing some of your inner dialogue. As someone whose inner critic is always saying do more and I’m not enough this was refreshing, and a beacon of hope. I underlined so many nuggets (outsourcing yourself as a way to feel valuable , saying no, not going the extra mile as a way to ensure worthiness - big one for me!) and shared this with a friend. Your life is such a testament to what it means to be human!
Oh and your book was a game changer!
Thank you Bri! I really appreciate your friendship and support. Oof! This human journey! Thank God for our people.
Same same same same same. I have felt and continue to feel ALL of these things. It's amazing how much of my "justice work" is driven by a need for the world to affirm my value and goodness. I feel like the greatest gift the publication process has given me is the opportunity to face and slowly begin to relinquish my grip on these attachments (that have been low key killing me all along). It's such a grueling, soul-baring process. I honestly don't know of a better process through which to do this crucial "decolonizing the identity" work. One of my mentors/BFFs is an 82 year old mystic who has published a gazillion books -- and only one has been a paradigm-shifting bestseller. He says publishing is "purifying" -- not in the white supremacist urge to be pure, but in the "return me to my true self" sense. I love that and I grab onto this embodied wisdom when the inner critic chorus is loud.
Christena, your words continue and continue and continue to be a balm. You were the first to see a draft (outside my publisher) and I still remember your kind feedback that was quite foreshadowing. You said, (I paraphrase) you have written a beautiful book and regardless of how the publicity process goes know this offering is a gift. I've come back to that over and over again. Thank you for standing alongside me in the complexity of longing for affirmation from the very systems/people we're trying to transform. Deep breath. The words of your mentor are giving me chills. That exactly it.
Thank you, gracias, I’m feeling all of this! Always appreciate your words and the soul that weaves them.
Thank you Dr. Chanti! I feel your heart.
I felt every single word of this beautiful post. Thank you thank you thank you. I know it’s weird to post our own work in the comments but this piece I wrote about publishing post partum depression may offer some solace. Sending lots of hugs your way 🫶🏽
https://lithub.com/postpartum-publishing-on-the-highs-and-lows-of-bringing-a-book-into-the-world/
Oh my goodness! I'm ready this now. This is exactly my experience. I never thought to consider it post partum. Thank you for your researching and sharing your story. Following. xo
I appreciate you posting this! It's so nice to feel less alone here. Hugs back to you.
Kelsey! Wow, your words are my current thoughts and feelings after just days after sending my first book to be published. The inner critic within me has been feeling crushed, the thought of promoting the book just doesn't feel authentic right now. I have ideas but to excute seems so BIG. I believe this post encrypts a message for me as a new author. Wow, wow, wow! Talk about a true reflection! I'm at a lost for words.
Hi Jacquie! Thanks for popping over. First, CONGRATULATIONS on writing a book and sending it to the printer. That's a huge achievement. Since writing my book I've discovered there's something called author postpartum. It's a real thing and I'd wished I'd known about it when I was struggling with low energy after the publication of my book. I hope this post inspires you to take the time you need and "market" your book in a way that feels aligned for you -- even if that's trusting the universe to take the wheel. You are not alone.
Thank you so much, Kelsey! I have been feeling the highs and lows. Yesterday, I got the email stating the book is officially published, and the rollercoaster of emotions put me in a mood. I thought about your words, decided to celebrate myself, and gave myself grace. This morning, I woke up with a new mindset and was able to get back in a flow. Thank you so much!
I’m so happy to hear it! I’d love to know where I can learn more about your book ….
Oh wow thank you! I’m actually offering the Kindle edition free until Sunday. I wanted the people that preordered it have a Kindle version and I wanted to share it with my Substack family if no one wanted the author-signed copies. I will send you the link for the Kindle download!!! 🫶🏾
Smart! I’m excited to read your story. ☺️
Thank you!!! I appreciate that!
so so beautifully written. thank you. i feel this in my bones!
Thank you Katie.
So loving learning about the way your book changed you. I know that feeling of the magic of creating a written work, when you co-create with the universe and everything around you offers itself to the project. 🔮I haven’t tried to publish a book but my sister did, and I witnessed some similar struggles. Thank you for sharing this deeply vulnerable window into your journey. So grateful to be here!
I love the phrase: co-create with the universe. That's exactly what it felt like. I'd love to see your written work, if you're ever inclined to share. I'm so happy to have you here.
Yes! And thank you. I hope to share one day! And happy to be here, too. :):)
With you in the unraveling!! Thank you Kelsey for being fiercely vulnerable and honest! You putting out your book and then walking away from the “expected” ways of promoting it in our capitalist society, is making me think your book was an offering to the world and you’ve done your part. Period, full stop. I’m curious how many people, like myself, buy it for friend and keep talking about it? You go do your healing-your powerful work is resonating-not like how you expected maybe-but exactly how it should be. You’re a gift to the world Kelsey.
Geez Michele, this gave me chills. Period, full stop. You. Are. Right. I did it. Thank you for this seeing. I appreciate you. I really couldn't hold the process with anything but regret until you named my enoughness. It's fascinating.
Kelsey- thank you for being honest about your experience in publishing. Thank you for your authenticity.
This space is healing to sit in, as a recovering people pleaser.
Your book may not have had the initial BOOM, but it will be in the world forever, nobody can take that accomplishment away! …and you never know who’s hands it will fall in when they most need it.
We love & appreciate you! ✨(but don’t let this external validation take away from that self love you’ve cultivated) 🤍
Thank you for this! I receive it in the best way. On another note, did you happen to see the SNL People Pleaser's Recovery Group Sketch last week? It worth checking out. It gave me a good chuckle as a fellow pleasure myself. I'm happy to have you here.
So so so happy to be here with you. 🏃🏻♀️ing to check out SNL people pleasers recovery group now!! ❣️
I checked out the audio version of your book from my local library last week. I was so engulfed by the message that I wanted to see and read the words, that I bought the ebook on Monday. I am ready to De-colonize. Thank you for the gift this book! Thank you for sharing your vulnerability.
Thank you Tamara! Your words remind me that my book is on its own journey traveling to new places and reaching people in ways I may never know about. It's nice to get a peak of what it's up to. Thank you for being here.
My absolute pleasure Kelsey!